Morning Coffee: How to walk into a job at JPMorgan. Ex-Citi exec complains of lewd photocopies

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Want to stroll off the street and into a job at JPMorgan? Become an expert in cyber-security.

Earlier this month, JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon announced that the bank's spending on cyber-security is due to double over the next five years following the cyber-attack that afflicted the bank in August. Already, recruiters say banks are paying handsomely for anyone with security expertise. Five years ago, senior cybersecurity executives were earning $200k to $500k Jeanne Branthover at Boyden Global Executive Search, told Bloomberg. - Today they're earning $2m. Suddenly, 'chief information security officers' are being paid on a par with managing directors in trading and investment banking, Bloomberg claims.

Separately, Sallie Krawcheck, the former president of the global wealth management division at Bank of America Merrill Lynch and ex-CFO and ex-head of Citi's wealth management and research businesses, among other things, has disclosed that she used to find photocopies of male bankers' genitals on her desk each morning. "That was her sort of good morning from the men of her firm," says film director Jamila Wignot, who spoke to Krawcheck for a programme on female executives. And banks wonder why they can't employ more women.


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Deutsche Bank’s return on equity so far this year is a measly 3%, thanks to its various legal, regulatory, and sundry other extracurricular expenses. (Quartz) 

Fixed income traders seeking a change should try TruMid, a new bond trading platform which has been hiring. (Financial Times) 

Moelis & Co. more than doubled its profits in the third quarter and said its European business performed especially well. (Bloomberg) 

Pimco man who quit to sell toasted sandwiches from a gourmet van after Bill Gross publicly disparaged him, is back now that Gross has gone. (Financial Times)

Private equity performance figures can't necessarily be trusted. Private equity staff have invested their own money into funds and this has skewed return calculations. (Reuters) 

Hugh Hendry's hired a new CEO for Eclectica Asst Management. (Bloomberg) 

"If you know an investment banker who tells you he’s never been to an escort, you know a saint — or more likely a liar.(Medium) 

If you want a spouse who will help you in your career, find someone who's conscientious. (Washington Post) 

Seven physical attributes that will make people want to follow you. (Inc)

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